Stressed, Depressed and Never Gets Dressed

So I'm starting university in approximately 14 days, 23 hours and 2 mintues. 14 days. That's like 2 weeks. It is 2 weeks. What am I going to do? What am I going to pack? Is my dog going to miss me? I honestly can't comprehend moving out of a house I've lived in for 18 years, 7 months and 12 days, because I'm such a weird person when it comes to change. It unnerves me and I find it uncomfortably upsetting because I like to be in control, I like to know where I'm headed and have a clear grasp on things as they pan out. But change doesn't allow that, it's different and scary and feels somewhat unnatural to me. But it's necessary, even though I wish it wasn't.

And if it's not enough that the act of actually moving out and going to university isn't stressful enough, I have money to worry about as well. Student bank accounts, TV licenses, insurance, shopping (oh god I need to learn how to cook. Well, I can already cook, I just need to learn how to cook better) and all the people I seem to speak to all seem quite calm and collected about the whole thing, with their response most of the time being, 'I'll just get my mum and dad to help.' But my parents can't, and even when they can, I don't want them to. I kind-of want to be a confident, independent adult, capable of doing confident, independent adulty things, but I'm not ready to adult yet. Take me back to year 7 where the biggest thing I had to worry about was forgetting my P.E. kit, and the teachers making me wear a t-shirt that smelled like it'd been soaked in a tramp's arse sweat. 

And everybody's getting so excited to be moving into halls and going to uni, but I'm not. Well, I am slightly, but nowhere near the extent of the other people I've spoken to. I've not even started and I already want freshers to be over. I know that makes me sound incredibly weird and dull, but I'm an extrovert trapped inside an introvert's body - so unless I find people who are bearable to talk to (aka friends), and fast, freshers is literally going to be the week straight from hell.

Thing is, I'm a very organised person, so I love making lists. Like, fuck yoga and whale noises and waves crashing onto a sandy beach - lists are the shit. I make lists for literally everything, and most of the time, it calms me. It means I have everything I need to know/do/buy right in front of me. (mainly because my long-term memory is absolutely shocking) But sometimes they only serve as a reminder of all the stuff I have yet to accomplish, and it's just sitting there on my wall like 'you're such a failure'. So then I have a mental breakdown, tear down the list, panic - because now I've forgotten what I needed to do, re-write the list and the cycle starts all over again. At least the stress of A-Levels is now out the way, because my room then was literally list central. But they must'v worked, because I got some bangin' results (A*, A, B, boiiiii). Ok so, I'll try never to say 'bangin'' or 'boiiiii' ever again, but I can't promise anything.

But hopefully I'll find something to do with my time other than making lists, coursework and going out, because clubs for me are the equivalent of what happens when you throw a cat into a lake. I mean, I haven't tested this theory, because I'm not a sadist, but I'm guessing it's a pretty similar reaction. I'm going to force myself up at an ungodly hour to go to the freshers fair and try to find some sort of sport society or whatever to keep me active 'n' that. You've no idea how much I had to force myself to type the word 'sport' without involuntarily running away and hiding in a dark hole somewhere. But yeah, uni resolution is to be more active!

Ha.

R.

(I still don't think 3 awkward stock images are enough for one post)

There we go. Perfect.

Stranger Things: Netflix Series Review (SPOILERS)

So, Stranger Things happened. And it's unexplainably refreshing to watch something that's not a sequel, or a copy, or a re-boot of something that they thought we'd all forgotten about from years-gone-by. No, Stranger Things does the exact opposite in which, at first glance, it looks like your run-of-the-mill sci-fi 'is-it-aliens-or-is-it-deep-and-meaningful-monster-manifestations-of-the-human-race?' show, but after you get past the first half an hour of the first episode, you realise that's not the case. Of course I'm aware that the show's impressive 80's aesthetic (my favourite word because I'm indie trash) is an over-talked about selling point, but Stranger Things' understated grandeur goes much further than that.

                                 

     

With its impressive bill of actors, including the likes of Winona Ryder, David Harbour and less well-known (I tried thinking of a more sophisticated-sounding synonym but I guess we're stuck with that) faces like Natalie Dyer and Charlie Heaton (Yorkshire massive represent. That was the worst thing I've ever said.) Partnered with incredible set and costume design it means that, even to somebody who's not that into film or TV, this show is undeniably spectacular. 

One of my favourite things about the series is that no actor is overshadowed by another. You'd think, with a name like Ryder on the bill, she would be front and center, but even the younger actors are able to 'match up' to her in terms of compelling the audience with performances way beyond their years. Millie Bobby Brown, the young actor who plays Eleven in the series, being one of the most impressive performances I've seen in a TV show for a while, not only from a young actor, but as an actor in general. In short, the whole cast is absolutely stellar in every episode. I'm not pretending to be and expert in anything, but using words like 'stellar' always makes you sound expert-y. But then I use words like 'expert-y' and cancel out any professional impressions anybody had of me. 

I'm never one for scary stuff. I was the girl at the Halloween party who sat under her sleeping bag listening to Panic! At the Disco on full blast, while everyone else watched Silent Hill and laughed at me. But this was different, this show isn't just scary for the sake of being scary, it says something when a lil weed like me is prepared to sit through a few jump scares to watch a show. And besides, however unoredictable the plot was, timing jump scares is always predictable. Oh, she's alone by a poolside and the camera shot's left just enough room and created enough focus to accommodate a figure looming behind her? Time to mute that shit.

So yeah, I heard that they've already commissioned a second season due to the amazing reception this one's received - but they're not calling it a 'second season', they're calling it a 'sequel'. Ooh, unique, mystical, intriguing. Triple emphasis.  Anyway, I actually can't wait for the second seas- shit, I mean, sequel. What with the mystic hints at the end after the kids finish their D&D game; 'what about the lost knight, and the proud princess and the weird flowers in the cave?' E.g. The police officer guy that was taken away by the secret service or whatever, Eleven, and those cracked-open egg-things that they found in the Upside Down, meaning here's more of those Men in Black Kylothian-faced looking alien, sub-human shits wandering about somewhere. And don't get me started on Nancy choosing Steve. Bitch, really? He bought him a camera? Big fucking whoop, Jonathan saved your ass, man. What you playing at?

I'm not bitter.

(I also couldn't look at the floaty snowy-looking atmosphere in Upside Down, and not think of Winona Ryder in Edward Scissorhands like, 'it never used to snow before he left, and now it does', and they gonna find Ed at the end of that gooey-ass tunnel like;

R.