If you're not angry, you're not paying attention

There's a lot going on in the world. The word 'hopeless' springs to mind. People are dying, animals are dying, forests, oceans, the world in general, is dying. And unfortunately, all we are capable of is writing Facebook rants, all we can do is march and mention @realDonaldTrump in angry tweets. It's inescapable now, the end is everywhere. The end of lives, countries, the world??? I'm joking, that's not going to happen for at least another ten years so we're fine.

But there are still some naive people that don't want to recognise that the world is speedily taking a nose dive into the back-end of Satan. So I've compiled a handy, but not very useful in the grand scheme of things, list of reasons to be angry. And maybe it'll convince people to get their fingers out and stop wasting 280 characters on telling us every day how much you just couldn't live without your boyfriend because of that one time he bought some toilet roll because you said there wasn't any left because he cares about you soooo much oh my god what a gem! (what is happening in 2018 honestly, pick your standards up off the floor, Jesus Christ alive.)

In short; you don't even have to leave your house to try and 'save the world'. Petitions are signed with our fingertips, people's voices (not necessarily the right ones) are heard now more than ever.

Words are all we have. Use the right ones.

1. 12 million tonnes of plastic end up in our oceans every year, and this number is only expected to
rise. I don't have to tell you what effect this has on plant and animal life, not after 50% of life on the Great Barrier Reef was declared dead in 2016. But that wasn't all the plastic's fault, that was also down to...

2. Global warming. Yay! There's honestly too many facts and figures to prove all the disbelievers wrong, and you probably wouldn't listen to an English student, I don't blame you tbh. So if you're not gonna listen to me, listen to NASA: https://climate.nasa.gov/evidence/

3. The bees are dying. This one's used as a culturally appropriate joke but it's actually v serious. Have y'all not seen the Bee Movie? Seriously though, from 1947 - 2008, there's been an estimated 60% loss of honey bee hives in the Americas alone. So if you see a sick bee, help a brother out, feed it a teaspoon of sugar water and place it somewhere safe.

4. Guns. This one's a tender one, I know. But here's some stats for you: according to the Gun Violence Archive, there has been 134 mass shootings in America in 2018 (it's June), in 2017, there was 346. Let's compare that to other countries;

Also, let's compare:

5. More than 300,000 people in Britain alone (1 in 200) are officially homeless or living in inadequate housing. According to the Trussell Trust (https://www.trusselltrust.org/news-and-blog/latest-stats/end-year-stats/) Between 1st April 2017 and 31st March this year, just their food bank network handed out 1.332, 952 three day emergency food supplies, 484, 026 of these were for children. (a 13% increase on the previous year) All the while, MP's are claiming for dog houses and holidays.

Before the last one, it's time for a quick-fire round.

• Education and the NHS are bracing for all-time-high cuts. There's also the risk of privatisation of the NHS, the closing down of beneficial education centres, and much more to look forward to!

• The average weekly wage for a professional football player is £50,000. The average UK doctor and hospital consultant is around £2,000 a week. Don't even get me started on nurses.

• Around 85,000 women and 12,000 men are raped in England and Wales alone every year - 11 rapes (of just adults) every. hour. And they're the ones that are reported. https://rapecrisis.org.uk/statistics.php. Again, don't get me started on the criminals who are let off to walk around scott-free and re-offend. 

• LGBTQ relationships are illegal in 74 countries. The vast majority of these they are punishable by prison or death.

• Brexit.

• Racism, homophobia and sexism are still things that are promoted in the mainstream media. 

• Donald Trump is president of the United States of America.

Speaking of Wiggy Stardust, that brings me to number...

6. There are literal children in literal cages that have been torn away from their families on the American borders. Donald Trump has given the thumbs up to 'housing' (if you can call it that) immigrant children like dogs and cattle, separated from their parents and siblings, in camps that hark back to the world's shameful history that we hoped would be left there, as history. It's abhorrent, but there's nothing we can do but tweet and protest, because in silence, you show support.

I'm Boring: Why I don't Drink

I don't drink. I'm a sober student - I know, right, how do I deal with the stress of uni without being fucked? The answer mainly consists of chocolate and Ru Paul, sometimes both at the same time. I don't have less fun, and I don't yearn for nights out and throwing up in a drain outside a kebab shop. BUT There are a few factors that contribute to my decision to pack in the Dark Fruits, so here we go.

1. It hurts. Basically my stomach is fucked - I'm missing a lining in my gut that helps tackle all the sugars and acids in alcohol. This also affects me being able to eat fruit and sweets and shit but we wont go into that. So when I wake up in the morning, it feels like my chest and stomach are on fire. I used to take daily tablets (that never really worked) to help substitute for my lack of whatever it is, but who can be bothered paying £15 for something not to work.

(1 1/2. I don't want this to come across as me making 'valid' excuses for myself as to why I don't drink. For years I had to blurt out this spiel to anyone that asked why I wasn't drinking - because if it's medical it can't be helped. You should just be able to turn to someone and say 'because I don't want to', but that never happens. Because I'm a pussy, obviously.)

2. As well as my stomach being fucked, so is my brain. From being about 10, I've suffered with anxiety and, more recently, depression. For some people alcohol and drugs help alleviate the symptoms of mental illness, but in my case, it does anything but. When you're drunk, you're supposed to revel in that light-headedness, that distant feeling that makes you feel carefree and disconnected from everything. But that's what I feel like 24/7. Being drunk makes me feel even more so; more dizzy, more paranoid; more like I want to curl up in a ball till it goes away. Hot and sweaty and suffocating when I'm supposed to be having 'fun'. Basically, you know when Will gets high in the Inbetweeners, that's me internally.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love not to be like that. I'd love to casually drink and get drunk without overthinking what's going to happen. I'd also love not for this to sound so dramatic, but it's in my blood, I'm an 'arts' student. Because it's not the end of the world, my life's still alright. I don't glare at other people around me who are drinking because it's honestly none of my business, and I shouldn't be any of theirs. (I mean, this is everyone's business now it's online forever but you do you and I'll do me xoxo.) 

My boyfriend drinks like a normal person (I'm admitting that I'm not lol) and we still go out and enjoy ourselves. It's even better when I get to watch him and other people be drunk, because I'm the one taking the unflattering photos that will never be forgotten and will haunt you forever.

So if you're going to take anything away from this shitstorm it should be just let people do what they want. Unless it's harmful or dangerous to themselves or other people or whatever, but you get me. Don't judge people for not *gasp* being a student and not wanting to get drunk or high or snort cinnamon or whatever. (Don't do the last one, speaking from experience, it's not a fantastic idea.) See, I don't have to be drunk to do stupid shit like that and endanger my nasal passages; that's all me, man.

#highonlife #dontjudgechallenge 

Also, we all know what happens when you get drunk and irresponsible sooooooo

#RIPBarb

Body Business

So, I’ve not posted on here in a while, mainly because of uni and the crazy big workload, my inherent lack of motivation and dramatic raise in stress levels. However, I think I’m ready to start getting back into it now second year’s nearly out the way and I’m starting to manage my general life a little better than I was a year ago.

A lot’s changed for me over this past year, and I’ve learnt a lot of sort-of, convincing myself they’re valuable, life lessons. So I’ve decided to share some with y’all. Because, of course, I’m more than qualified to tell strangers what to do with their lives. But they’re just little suggestions/facts that I thought 16-year-old me would’ve liked to know before getting into all that sticky business. Literally.

Just a disclaimer - these lil pearls of wisdom are mainly sex-based. There’s nothing more that I want so say about that fact, it just seems that sex-based conversation is something that people like to be warned about because, you know, taboos n that.

Sex, sex sex. Over it yet? Ok, here we go. (ft. some peng stock photos)

1. Pee for England. And your sexual health.

Cuddling after sex is great, isn’t it? But you know what’s even better? Being san-UTI. As soon as possible after you’ve finished having the funs, y’all need to get into the bathroom and pee. Don’t strain yourself or anything, but chances are you’ll need to anyway, but peeing and cleaning yourself after sex helps prevent painful infections like Urinary-Tract Infections. This may be common knowledge to like 99% of people, but I told one of my friends that they should be doing this a couple of months ago, and a look of realisation dawned on her like I’d just unveiled the meaning of life. So, you know, just tryng to help a sister out.

     2. Keep a record of your periods. Like buy a cheap diary or wall calendar or something and try to mark down when you start and finish. There are also loads of really helpful apps that do this for you, and even predict and work out when you should be starting your next one – just to avoid unnessecary anxiety attacks when you think you’re extremely late.

These are great, because everyone has their phone in their hands all the time, so you won’t forget, and it’s also more private than a calendar on your wall. But I don’t adhere to my own rules because I use a calendar so…Anyway, it doesn’t have to be obvious, like the word PERIOD or RIP ME AND MY VAGINA in big red letters, just a little circle or line, something only you should recognise. By all means, go all out if you want to, stick a negative test to the wall, there is no shame.

(I honestly think I put more effort into this picture than my past year of university)

3. (Smooth epilator)

Shave. Sideways. I’m talking about not your armpits or legs sort-of shaving. Don’t shave upwards, only if you want some lovely flesh red braille down there. Shaving sideways also means you’re less likely to form ingrown hairs and infected follicles. Unless you’re one of those people with cast-iron vaginas who use epilators or wax – in which case, I have the upmost respect for you, you absolute hero.

4. Go commando. Not during the day, unless you’re v comfortable with doing that, then go 4 it. But, when you can, try and sleep without wearing underwear or pyjamas. This gives your downstairs chance to ‘breathe naturally’, if you will, and also prevents and soothes the symptoms of thrush. Also, try to avoid tight underwear altogether, unless it’s pretty and expensive and probably only going to be worn for ten minutes.

5. Don’t be ashamed about your intimate health. And don’t buy treatments you’ve seen advertised on TV straight off the shelf before seeing your doctor, because you might think you’ve recognised the symptoms of something yourself, and you end up treating something that’s not there. This won’t do you any harm, it just wastes your time and money.

      6. Boys don’t give a shit about periods. And the ones that do really aren’t worth your time. I remember being terrified of my boyfriend even seeing me take a clean

pad out of my bag because that insinuated that I was about to remove a dirty one – and periods in boys’ minds must = ‘ew wtf’.

The first time I stayed at his house I was on, I didn’t have anything but tights and jeans to wear because I’m  genius, so I slept in t h r e e pairs of underwear, just to make sure any accidents didn’t happen. Now, it’s a completely different, because I realised it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Bleed to your heart’s content.

What a lovely note to end it on.

R.