And if it's not enough that the act of actually moving out and going to university isn't stressful enough, I have money to worry about as well. Student bank accounts, TV licenses, insurance, shopping (oh god I need to learn how to cook. Well, I can already cook, I just need to learn how to cook better) and all the people I seem to speak to all seem quite calm and collected about the whole thing, with their response most of the time being, 'I'll just get my mum and dad to help.' But my parents can't, and even when they can, I don't want them to. I kind-of want to be a confident, independent adult, capable of doing confident, independent adulty things, but I'm not ready to adult yet. Take me back to year 7 where the biggest thing I had to worry about was forgetting my P.E. kit, and the teachers making me wear a t-shirt that smelled like it'd been soaked in a tramp's arse sweat. 
And everybody's getting so excited to be moving into halls and going to uni, but I'm not. Well, I am slightly, but nowhere near the extent of the other people I've spoken to. I've not even started and I already want freshers to be over. I know that makes me sound incredibly weird and dull, but I'm an extrovert trapped inside an introvert's body - so unless I find people who are bearable to talk to (aka friends), and fast, freshers is literally going to be the week straight from hell.Thing is, I'm a very organised person, so I love making lists. Like, fuck yoga and whale noises and waves crashing onto a sandy beach - lists are the shit. I make lists for literally everything, and most of the time, it calms me. It means I have everything I need to know/do/buy right in front of me. (mainly because my long-term memory is absolutely shocking) But sometimes they only serve as a reminder of all the stuff I have yet to accomplish, and it's just sitting there on my wall like 'you're such a failure'. So then I have a mental breakdown, tear down the list, panic - because now I've forgotten what I needed to do, re-write the list and the cycle starts all over again. At least the stress of A-Levels is now out the way, because my room then was literally list central. But they must'v worked, because I got some bangin' results (A*, A, B, boiiiii). Ok so, I'll try never to say 'bangin'' or 'boiiiii' ever again, but I can't promise anything.
But hopefully I'll find something to do with my time other than making lists, coursework and going out, because clubs for me are the equivalent of what happens when you throw a cat into a lake. I mean, I haven't tested this theory, because I'm not a sadist, but I'm guessing it's a pretty similar reaction. I'm going to force myself up at an ungodly hour to go to the freshers fair and try to find some sort of sport society or whatever to keep me active 'n' that. You've no idea how much I had to force myself to type the word 'sport' without involuntarily running away and hiding in a dark hole somewhere. But yeah, uni resolution is to be more active!
Ha.
R.
(I still don't think 3 awkward stock images are enough for one post)
There we go. Perfect.
