A lot’s changed for me over this past year, and I’ve learnt
a lot of sort-of, convincing myself they’re valuable, life lessons. So I’ve
decided to share some with y’all. Because, of course, I’m more than qualified to tell strangers what to do with their lives. But
they’re just little suggestions/facts that I thought 16-year-old me would’ve
liked to know before getting into all that sticky business. Literally.
Just a disclaimer - these lil pearls of wisdom are mainly
sex-based. There’s nothing more that I want so say about that fact, it just
seems that sex-based conversation is something that people like to be warned
about because, you know, taboos n that.
Sex, sex sex. Over it yet? Ok, here we go. (ft. some peng
stock photos)
1. Pee for England. And your sexual health.
Cuddling after sex is great, isn’t it? But
you know what’s even better? Being san-UTI. As soon as possible after you’ve
finished having the funs, y’all need to get into the bathroom and pee. Don’t strain
yourself or anything, but chances are you’ll need to anyway, but peeing and
cleaning yourself after sex helps prevent painful infections like Urinary-Tract
Infections. This may be common knowledge to like 99% of people, but I told one
of my friends that they should be doing this a couple of months ago, and a look
of realisation dawned on her like I’d just unveiled the meaning of life. So,
you know, just tryng to help a sister out.
2. Keep a record of your periods. Like buy a cheap
diary or wall calendar or something and try to mark down when you start and
finish. There are also loads of really helpful apps that do this for you, and
even predict and work out when you should be starting your next one – just to
avoid unnessecary anxiety attacks when you think you’re extremely late.
These are great, because everyone has their
phone in their hands all the time, so you won’t forget, and it’s also more
private than a calendar on your wall. But I don’t adhere to my own rules
because I use a calendar so…Anyway, it doesn’t have to be obvious, like the
word PERIOD or RIP ME AND MY VAGINA in big red letters, just a little circle or
line, something only you should recognise. By all means, go all out if you want
to, stick a negative test to the wall, there is no shame.
(I honestly think I put more effort into this picture than my past year of university)
3. (Smooth epilator)
Shave. Sideways. I’m talking about not your
armpits or legs sort-of shaving. Don’t shave upwards, only if you want some lovely
flesh red braille down there. Shaving sideways also means you’re less likely to
form ingrown hairs and infected follicles. Unless you’re one of those people
with cast-iron vaginas who use epilators or wax – in which case, I have the upmost
respect for you, you absolute hero.
4. Go commando. Not during the day, unless you’re v comfortable with doing that, then go 4 it. But, when you can, try and sleep without wearing underwear or pyjamas. This gives your downstairs chance to ‘breathe naturally’, if you will, and also prevents and soothes the symptoms of thrush. Also, try to avoid tight underwear altogether, unless it’s pretty and expensive and probably only going to be worn for ten minutes.
5. Don’t be ashamed about your intimate health. And don’t buy treatments you’ve seen advertised on TV straight off the shelf before seeing your doctor, because you might think you’ve recognised the symptoms of something yourself, and you end up treating something that’s not there. This won’t do you any harm, it just wastes your time and money.
6. Boys don’t give a shit about periods. And the
ones that do really aren’t worth your time. I remember being terrified of my
boyfriend even seeing me take a clean
The first time I stayed at his house I was
on, I didn’t have anything but tights and jeans to wear because I’m genius, so I slept in t h r e e pairs of
underwear, just to make sure any accidents didn’t happen. Now, it’s a
completely different, because I realised it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Bleed
to your heart’s content.
What a lovely note to end it on.
R.
